Many of us are experiencing the beauty, joy, and peace the Christmas season elicits of our Savior Jesus Christ. We feel HOPE and the wonderful gifts of the Spirit. Unfortunately, there are also many of us that are hurting, in pain, and struggling to even get out of bed. I was one of those individuals last year and I know all too well how low someone can be, especially during the holidays. Last year at Christmas, I was exhausted from wholeheartedly fighting for my marriage, severely depressed, so numb I couldn’t feel the Spirit, four months pregnant, been divorced one month, and feeling very ALONE. I had lost my health due to pregnancy and was spending my days in bed. The only sliver of hope I occasionally felt was from Christ and my two sweet children who were taking care of me.
I was drowning fast and didn’t know how to cope with the pain. I felt so hopeless with no way out. When we are in these difficult situations, we are searching for signs that things are going to look up. Sometimes, however, things remain hard. I continued to endure a tough pregnancy, only to lose my sweet daughter when she was only three days old. Combine that with a few more trials, and I was spiraling into a never-ending abyss of hurt and pain. That was such a dark time in my life, I started to believe I should not stay on this earth. I am grateful for my foundation of Christ which continually forced me on my knees in prayer. I kept praying, even though it all felt too hard. One day, when I was particularly struggling, I found a beautiful sign that gave me a small glimpse of hope. It was a scripture written especially for me at that moment. This sign helped save my life!
I decided I must keep going. I continued to TRUST God and focus on Christ. When the negative thoughts in my head crept in, I replaced them with positive images of Christ. I started to visualize my Savior holding me in his arms on a bench in a beautiful garden, surrounded by many angels. I focused on smelling, seeing, tasting, touching, listening…to exactly what this would be like. I kept searching for those signs of hope I was so desperately seeking. I slowly found myself recognizing some of the beautiful blessings in my life. I pushed myself to reach out to my Earthly Angels for support and love. I asked for help and support from my Heavenly Angels. I started to realize how many signs and angels were around me, sent to help me.
I continued to move forward with faith, trusting my heart out. I listened to music, read my scriptures, allowed myself to grieve, and kept focusing on my Savior. I asked Christ to carry me, I asked my angels for help. Slowly…but surely, things started to look up. I was building more levels of hope in my life. I did many things to continue to heal, one of which was joining a mentoring group that helped me move forward even more. I started to create powerful daily habits that completely transformed my life forever. I am an entirely different person now. I experience hope, feel joy, have fun with my children, smile, and enjoy serving others...all things I thought I would never do again.
My relationship with Christ is stronger than ever. I want to share my light with others! My intention is this Christmas will be amazing! I will not be with my children on Christmas for the first time ever; I am accepting that, trusting God, and moving forward with faith. I plan on spending my time serving others, focusing on Christ, and taking care of ME!! I am strong in who I am and why I am here. I know what matters most and what doesn’t. I change the things I need to, in order for my life to change. I do the things I need to in my own life to make it awesome. Is my life perfect? Of course not! But practice makes progress and I have experienced tremendous growth in my own life.
My wish for you is to have a beautiful, Merry CHRISTmas full of love, light, and truth…no matter where you are in your life! Focus on feeling the love of Christ radiating all around you. Share this amazing light and love with others. Focus on Christ and make this the best Christmas ever!!!
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